Tuesday 26 November 2013

Operation Christmas Child Follow-Up

I just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who helped and got involved with packing and sponsoring shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child (Samaritan's Purse)! We managed to reach a record number of boxes at our depot and I was so thrilled!!

As far as I am aware, all the UK collection points for 2013 are now closed, but you can still donate to Operation Christmas Child and choose/pack a box online on their site.

Please support this incredibly important work! It is incredible to think that this small investment could save or change a life forever!

Blessings!

Ronell x

Some shoebox testimonies:

http://youtu.be/9KiyEbcSTgg
http://youtu.be/Y2BCKXaIN0g
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpUAPoz02r4



Friday 15 November 2013

Teenagers Giving Generously to Operation Christmas Child

Two weeks ago today, I stood before my whole school (I am a teacher) and challenged them to do something different this Christmas: to do good and to give and love, not the people they know, but the strangers that they don't- the ones that God calls us to give to and love. I was due to speak in the Primary assembly, but was inspired to set a challenge for the Senior pupils as well.

I explained to them about Operation Christmas Child and how they could help. The Senior school is divided into 4 houses with male and female house captains. The challenge I set was for each house to split into a boys and girls team (but to work together) to decorate and fill at least 2 shoeboxes (one for a boy and one for a girl) per house.

The deadline was today and I have just finished checking the boxes... I am blown away and moved to tears by the love, thoughtfulness, generosity, passion and enthusiasm with which the Senior School children responded to the Operation Christmas Child challenge that I set them 2 weeks ago, handing in almost double the assigned number of boxes with the most gorgeous and thoughtful cards and gifts! I am so touched! I was amazed at how thoughtful and sentimental some of those boxes are and I have no doubt that the children who receive them will be incredibly blessed! My prayer over each of those boxes (and the huge pile of boxes in the school office collected from the Primary school), is that God will fill them with even more love and that those children will come to know Him and His love through those boxes and the incredible work of Samaritan's Purse with Operation Christmas Child!

If you have not already done a shoebox this year, please visit the Operation Christmas Child site for more information: it is not too late to completely change a child's Christmas and possibly their life! :) You can even do a shoebox online! No finding a box, wrapping it, shopping for it, or packing it! 

I'll leave you with my tune of the moment, 'I was here' by Beyonce, as you think about how you can help someone else this Christmas! :) 

I wanna leave my footprints on the sands of time
Know there was something that, meant something that I left behind
When I leave this world, I'll leave no regrets
Leave something to remember, so they won't forget

I was here
I lived, I loved
I was here
I did, I've done everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here

I want to say I lived each day, until I died
And know that I meant something in, somebody's life
The hearts I have touched, will be the proof that I leave
That I made a difference, and this world will see

I just want them to know
That I gave my all, did my best
Brought someone some happiness
Left this world a little better just because

I was here


Blessings!

Ronell x



Monday 11 November 2013

The 11 Differences Between Dating a Boy vs a Man

I found this article online and absolutely LOVED it! It was the original article to which the writer responded to with The 11 Differences Between Dating a Girl vs a Woman (my previous post). This article challenged me much like the first to not settle for a boy when I honestly want a man. This article, like the previous article, challenged me on areas where I am behaving more like a girl than a woman, and also on areas where I have previously settled in relationships where I knew it wasn't quite what I wanted, which was a good eye-opener for me indeed! 

For the female readers: I hope that you enjoy this article and are challenged, not only to be the woman that God has made you to be -thought this article does not have an overtly Christian tone, but has principles throughout which are certainly Godly- but it also challenges you that, if you want to date a real man, you should be behaving a lot more like a real woman. 

For the male readers: I hope that you enjoy this article and are challenged, not only to be the man that God has made you to be -thought this article does not have an overtly Christian tone, but has principles throughout which are certainly Godly- but it also challenges you that, if you want to date a real woman, you should be behaving a lot more like a real man.


Blessings!

Ronell x

THE 11 DIFFERENCES BETWEEN DATING A BOY VS A MAN

When I was in my early twenties, if a guy acted aloof, called back only sometimes and showed minimal interest, I would get hooked. You could say I was addicted to the bad boy/ unavailable boy/ player. I was drawn to what psychotherapist, Ken Page terms as “attractions of deprivation” – when we are drawn to people who embody the worst emotional characteristics of our parents. Basically, the theory explains that we are attracted to people who can wound us the same way we were wounded in our childhood, as our psyche tries to recreate the past void and save us by changing its ending.

“The child in us believes that if the original perpetrators — or their current replacements — finally change their minds, apologize, or make up for that terrible rupture of trust, we can escape from our prison of unworthiness. Our conscious self is drawn to the positive qualities we yearn for, but our unconscious draws us to the qualities which hurt us the most as children.”  - Psychology Today

So games used to work on me because 1) I had unresolved daddy issues and 2) At the tender age of 20, I was trying to figure out who I was and to top it off, I was ridden with insecurity and a low sense of self-worth.

But somewhere in between the passing of a decade, something changed.

I learned to love myself.  I became independent, confident, and started to value my self-worth. I went through hardships and heartbreaks and picked myself back up which built my strength and courage. Instead of relying on beauty as my source of empowerment, I focused on basing my empowerment on my intelligence, successes, values, contributions to the world and how I helped others. In a sense, I finally grew up. I went from being a girl to becoming a woman. And as a woman, you are attracted to very different things than you are as a girl.

A girl is attracted to boys. A woman is attracted to men. Now, this has nothing to do with the actual age of a person. I’m referring to maturity, life vision and stage of life. In fact, some people regardless of their age, will never really grow up. You can switch the genders in this post and most points would likely still apply. Or, read this post on “The 11 Differences Between Dating a Girl vs a Woman“.

If you are a girl (lack independence, are ruled by insecurity, lack self-respect, throw tantrums, have princess syndrome, don’t have strong values or boundaries and can’t hold yourself on your own) then expect that you will attract only boys. However, if you are a woman (independent, ambitious, knows your worth and value, has a strong moral compass, is considerate and an able communicator and doesn’t let insecurity dominate your psyche), then you should be dating a man. And if you can’t spot the difference just yet, here are some pointers.

A man knows what he wants, and goes for it. A boy may have somewhat of an idea, but not really. He doesn’t think too much about it, and even if he does, doesn’t exert much effort to get it. A boy is passive, a man is assertive.
A man plans for his future and is working towards building a foundation and infrastructure in order to have a family (at some point in his life).  A boy lives only in the moment and his plans are mostly around which bar he’s going to hit up on the weekend.
A man looks for a woman with intelligence, who is supportive, grounded and encompasses a shared set of values when choosing a partner. A boy cares mostly only for girls who are hot, wild and exciting.
A man knows a good woman when he meets one and will take initiative to get to know her. A boy may make an attempt if you’re lucky, but gives up before ever really trying.
A man has the courage to have uncomfortable conversations. He is honest with his intentions and lets people know where they stand. A boy avoids. He ignores confrontation or any serious talks about feelings. Instead of dealing with a situation, he runs away from it or creates drama or excuses to mask the fact he’s not that into you or a relationship.
A man knows when to invest in a woman and jump in with two feet. A boy is always “testing” – he doesn’t fully commit because he never knows if he is quite ready. But the truth is, because he is a boy, regardless of who he meets, he will never be ready due to the stage of life he is in.
A man knows how to have a good time and be social, but is often busy making strides in his career and building his life. A boy is getting crunk with his buddies at the bar every weekend.
A man takes the time to reflect on the type of man he wants to be, the example he wants to leave and the vision for his life. He has put thought into his values. A boy has not established his moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent.
A man has integrity. He means what he says, and says what he means. He has follow through and actions his promises. And if he can’t he has the guts to tell you why. A boy makes promises but doesn’t follow through.
A man is afraid of rejection but will put himself out there anyway. A boy is afraid of rejection and acts passive so that his pride and ego won’t ever get too banged up.
Now, a lot of these differences require taking the time to know someone to figure out if the apple of your eye is indeed a man, or a mere boy. However, one of the quickest filters that you can notice from the beginning is this:

11. A boy plays games. A man doesn’t.

*To clarify, when I’m referring to “games” I mean mind games.


suit tie Jaclyn Auletta
Photo credit: Jaclyn Auletta

The 11 Differences Between Dating a Girl vs a Woman

I found this article online and absolutely LOVED it! It challenged me on areas where I am behaving more like a girl than a woman, which was a good eye-opener for me indeed! 

For the female readers: I hope that you enjoy this article and are challenged, not only to be the woman that God has made you to be -thought this article does not have an overtly Christian tone, but has principles throughout which are certainly Godly- but it also challenges you that, if you want to date a real man, you should be behaving a lot more like a real woman. 

For the male readers: I hope that you enjoy this article and are challenged, not only to be the man that God has made you to be -thought this article does not have an overtly Christian tone, but has principles throughout which are certainly Godly- but it also challenges you that, if you want to date a real woman, you should be behaving a lot more like a real man.

(also see The 11 Differences Between Dating a Boy vs a Man by the same author)

Blessings!

Ronell x



THE 11 DIFFERENCES BETWEEN DATING A GIRL VS A WOMAN

Recently, I wrote a post on “The 11 Difference Between Dating a Boy vs a Man“. The post can have the genders swapped and most points would still apply. However, we can’t deny that there are some fundamental differences between men and women – from how we are socialized to the chemical and hormonal differences that naturally occur. Thus, I thought it appropriate to follow up with a post on the difference between dating a girl, vs a woman. Again, many points on this post would apply if you switched the genders around.

A boy is attracted to girls. A man is attracted to women. Now, this has nothing to do with the actual age of a person. I’m referring to maturity, life vision and stage of life. In fact, some people regardless of their age, will never really grow up. Also, this isn’t to say that a woman won’t ever have “girlish” or immature tendencies or vice versa. This post refers to one’s maturity and most points would also apply if you switch the genders as well.

If you are a boy, then expect that you will attract only girls. However, if you are a man (independent, knows your worth and value, has a strong moral compass, is considerate and an able communicator and doesn’t let insecurity dominate your psyche), then you should be dating a woman. And if you can’t spot the difference just yet, here are some pointers.

1. A girl throws tantrums. When displeased, upset or angry, she reacts just as she did as a child when she didn’t get her way with her parents. This often consists of screaming, pouting, giving the silent treatment, being passive aggressive and/or punishing. A woman still feels the emotions of being upset/displeased, but has cultivated the skill of responding versus reacting. She comes to the table as an adult, and communicates clearly what is bothering her.

2. A girl perceives herself as a princess and believes people should treat her like so. She is entitled and feels that she is owed and therefore expects more than she appreciates. A woman, has standards (what she holds herself to) not expectations (what she projects on to others).

3. A girl uses her physical beauty as her currency and basis of value. A girl may be so used to feeling validated through her looks and sexuality, that she uses this as her primary tool to get what she wants in life. A woman, knows her worth is beyond her physicality. A woman bases her value on her intelligence, her strength, her integrity, her values, her contributions, her humanity.

4. A girl banks on a man to be her financial strategy. A woman plans to be financially independent – she banks on… herself. And if she so happens to enter a relationship dynamic where it makes sense for her partner to be the primary breadwinner, it’s considered a bonus, not the expected life line.

5. A girl sees the world from a place of lack and scarcity. She competes and will even tear down another in order to secure resources or a mate. A woman helps other women. She knows that there’s plenty enough to go around and takes the high road of integrity to get what she wants.

6. A girl cannot be bothered with anything domestic and is proud of the fact that she cannot cook or clean. A woman understands that being domestic is not a duty, but understands that it is one way of taking care of herself and others. She also understands that in the event she wants to create a family, having a person in the household who can contribute domestically is important.

7. “A girl wants attention, a woman wants respect. A girl wants to be adored by many. A woman wants to be adored by one.” -anonymous

8. A girl does not respect her body.  She has not yet understood that her body and heart are sacred, and that it’s important to be mindful of how she treats it and who she shares it with. “A girl cherishes handbags, diamonds and her shoe collection as her prize possessions. A woman cherishes her health, her sense of self, and her talents as her greatest assets.” – N. Mah

9. A woman takes the time to reflect on the type of human she wants to be, the example she wants to leave and the vision for her life. She has put thought into her values and what she stands for. A girl has not established her moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent. “After spending time with a girl, you feel exhausted because she takes more than she gives. After spending time with a woman, you feel invigorated, because she empowers you with possibility, and a passion for life.” – N. Mah

10. A girl has a checklist that prioritizes superficial qualities above anything else. Here is an example of how this checklist may look: Hot, popular, wears skinny jeans, over 6 feet tall, rich.. This is the checklist of what a woman may look for: High integrity, intelligent, kind, good communicator, emotionally available…

Now, a lot of these differences require taking the time to know someone to figure out if the apple of your eye is indeed a mature woman, or someone with an immature mindset. However, one of the quickest filters that you can notice from the beginning is this:

11. A girl plays games. A woman doesn’t.

A girl jumps from one social circle to another, making fast friends that don’t last. A woman values her deep friendships and nurtures that bond with time, gratitude, energy and thoughtfulness.

Nadia Mah


woman photo by daniele martinie
photo by daniele martinie

Saturday 9 November 2013

Ashton Kutcher Inspiring Young People

Ashton Kutcher inspired young people with his amazing acceptance speech on teen choice awards 2013. Ashton has taken the opportunity to be honest with his fans, to try to stop the perpetration of celebrity/fame as easy and something they are entitled to. He gives 3 insider tips to success:

1) Opportunity: "opportunity looks a lot like hard work"... "I never had a job in my life that I was better than. I was always just lucky to have a job. And every job I had was a stepping stone to my next job and I never quit my job until I had my next job. And so, opportunities look a lot like work."

2) Being Sexy: "The sexiest thing in the entire world is being really smart and being thoughtful and being generous. Everything else is crap, I promise you! Crap that people try to sell to you to make you feel like less. So don't buy it!"  

3) Living Life: "Steve Jobs said, 'When you grow up, you get told that the world is the way that it is and that your life is to live your life inside of the world and not to get in too much trouble and maybe get an education, and get a job, and make some money, and have a family.. But life can be a lot broader than that when you realise one simple thing: and that is that everything that is around us that we call 'life' was made up by people who are no smarter than you and you can build your own thing, you can build your own life that other people can live in.' So build a life!" 

"So don't live one- build one! Find your opportunities, and ALWAYS be sexy (smart). Love you guys!"

Ellen DeGeneres was so impressed with his speech, that she invited him on The Ellen Show, where he gives another inspiring speech in response to her thanking him for his first speech, including gems like: 

"Working hard and being generous and thoughtful and smart is a path to a better life." 

"There is an entitlement that starts to emerge.. [people] don't want to get a job at Starbucks because they think it's below them. I think the only thing that can be below you is to not have a job... Go work until you can get the job that you want to have" 


Success is inextricably linked to hard work people! 

Thank you, Ashton Kutcher.

Blessings! 


Ronell x


Wednesday 6 November 2013

Support Service Men and Women {Hope For The Warriors} // Sevenly

I am loving Sevenly's site revamp! Still getting use to it, but loving it! 

This week Sevenly is supporting Hope for the Warriors. The mission of Hope For The Warriors is to enhance the quality of life for service members (including post-9/11), their families, and families of the fallen who have sustained physical and psychological wounds in the line of duty. Hope For The Warriors is dedicated to restoring a sense of self, restoring the family unit, and restoring hope for service members and military families.Hope For The Warriors understands the challenges, pride, and joy of being a military family.

This week's cause is particularly close to my heart at the moment as my cousin returned from his first (and hopefully last) tour in Afghanistan last week. His tour may have been short, but I know I speak for our family (both in the UK and in South Africa), and for his girlfriend and her family, when I say that it felt like our hearts were outside our bodies and we held our breaths until the moment we knew he was back home. I am very proud of him, but more than anything, I am just happy that I will finally be seeing him again in 2 days time! He is like a brother to me and the knowing that he was in a conflict zone has been horrendous. I thank God every day for keeping him safe and for bringing him home. 

His time in Afghan made me think of all the families who are not only separated from their loved ones for much longer periods of time.. but even worse, those who lose loved ones in conflict, or in the trauma they suffer post-conflict. 

Be a part of saying thank you and making a difference in the lives of these service men and women and their families by supporting them directly here, or by buying vests, tshirts, jumpers/sweaters and many, many other items from Sevenly's online store

Blessings!

Ronell x


{photo credit: sevenly.org)

Sunday 3 November 2013

Refining Silver

I received this email today and it really blessed me and reminded me of times in my own life where I have gone through difficult trials, but known that God was there, watching over me and right beside me every step of the way. I hope this blesses you too.

Blessings!

Ronell x


Malachi 3:3 says: 'He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.' 

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.. 

One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study. 

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining Silver. 

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities. 

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: ' He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.' 

She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time. 
The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed. 

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, 'How do you know when the silver is fully refined?' 

He smiled at her and answered, ' Oh, that's easy --when I see my image in it.' 

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you. 

Thank you God, for teaching me to laugh again...... but please Lord, don't ever let me forget that I cried. 


Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible, and receives the impossible! 


{photo credit: http://dwellingintheword.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/12-parkin.jpg}